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  • Title: 嫌われる勇気
  • Author: Ichiro Kishimi
  • ISBN: 007827565183264164192341641923153597057641641923200416419230741201941641923416419231535970576416419234164192334164192388271393412979108741641923341641923
  • Page: 241
  • Format: Kindle Edition

  • 嫌われる勇気 By Ichiro Kishimi Trong s nh ng ng i b n tr c a t i, c m t ng i c m tr th nh ti u thuy t gia nh ng m i m ch ng vi t c t c ph m n o C u y b o b n vi c kh ng c th i gian vi t n n kh ng th ho n th nh t c ph m, c ng kh ng tham gia m t cu c thi n o c Tuy nhi n, c ng nh v y kh ng Th c ra l , c u y mu n ng kh n ng n u l m s c b ng vi c kh ng d thi C u y Trong s nh ng ng i b n tr c a t i, c m t ng i c m tr th nh ti u thuy t gia nh ng m i m ch ng vi t c t c ph m n o C u y b o b n vi c kh ng c th i gian vi t n n kh ng th ho n th nh t c ph m, c ng kh ng tham gia m t cu c thi n o c Tuy nhi n, c ng nh v y kh ng Th c ra l , c u y mu n ng kh n ng n u l m s c b ng vi c kh ng d thi C u y kh ng mu n b ph i b y cho ng i kh c nh gi , v l i c ng kh ng mu n i di n v i s th c l t c ph m c a m nh kh ng c gi i v qu ch n C u y mu n s ng trong c i kh n ng ch c n c th i gian m nh s l m c, ch c n c i u ki n m nh c ng vi t c, m nh c t i n ng C l n m, m i n m n a, c u y s b t u s d ng nh ng l l bao bi n kh c nh m nh kh ng c n tr n a hay m nh c gia nh r i Get A Copy Kindle Store Online StoresAudibleBarnes NobleWalmart eBooksGoogle PlayAbebooksBook DepositoryAlibrisBetter World BooksIndieBoundLibraries Or buy for Kindle Edition, 180 pages Published December 12th 2013 by More Details Original Title ASIN B00H7RACY8 Edition Language Japanese Other Editions 26 All Editions Add a New Edition Combine Less Detail edit details Friend Reviews To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up Reader QA To ask other readers questions about , please sign up Popular Answered Questions Base on separation of tasks, one shouldnt take care of anybodys else tasks to be live free Why the philosopher took care of his father when he was ill It was not his task to do so I hope someone here can give me some insight like 6 months ago See all 3 answers Matthew John Good question Based on what I understood, the task of taking care of his father was indeed identified as a life task by the philosopher However, Good question Based on what I understood, the task of taking care of his father was indeed identified as a life task by the philosopher However, it was not to gain a sense of status recognition or because of any persuasion by external factors living to satisfy others lives The presence of his father with him, by virtue of his father s being and not tasks or contributions was important to the philosopher and hence he wanted to invest effort into building that interpersonal relationship with his father and contribute by helping him in his old age The whole experience also gives the philosopher a feeling of being useful to the community Hope this perspective helps less flag See 1 question about Lists with This Book This book is not yet featured on Listopia Add this book to your favorite list Community Reviews Showing 1 30 Rating details Sort Default Filter Oct 17, 2015 Lee rated it it was amazing review of another edition This book was really famous in Japan, it became number one on the bestseller list in 2014 After then, it translated in Korean and it stayed on bestseller list for 33 weeks in Korea At first time I heard this news, I doubt about this book Because I had some biases about best sellers But my professor just recommended this book to me, and I read it And this book was totally different from other best sellers This book talks about Courage It says we need courage to be hated Because people This book was really famous in Japan, it became number one on the bestseller list in 2014 After then, it translated in Korean and it stayed on bestseller list for 33 weeks in Korea At first time I heard this news, I doubt about this book Because I had some biases about best sellers But my professor just recommended this book to me, and I read it And this book was totally different from other best sellers This book talks about Courage It says we need courage to be hated Because people nowdays are too concentrated on other s opinion and don t want to be hated And then they don t have enough time to focus on their real selves Also, they don t know how wonderful they are That s why we need courage to be hated Maybe some people think it s strange Because in common sense, we don t want to be hated and just hold ourselves up to standards of others At first time I thought like that, too But when I finished this book, I realized that I am a main character of my life More interesting, this book is based on psychologist, Adler Adler was a contemporary of Freud and Jung But he claimed the other side of Freud and Jung Freud and Jung focused on result, while Adler focused on process and purpose It means Freud and Jung believe that past effect future, the Trauma Theory In contrast, Adler says past is just past and it has no effect to future We only need to focus on now and present So that s why we should concentrate on our own selves I totally agree with Adler Because sometimes Trauma Theory make people just stuck in their past and self justification themselves Whatever happened over the past of year is history It is just a PAST So what we have to do is focusing on HERE NOW and ourselves That s why we need courage to be hated Before I read this book, I worried about other s opinions about me And It was so tired life After I finished this book, I can totally concentrate on myself, and I don t care about other s judgements about me That is not my field, but other s field I really want to thank this book, and now I understand why this stayed so long in best seller in Japan and Korea I hope this book translated in English, so other people can read this book flag 42 likesLike see review View all 3 comments Apr 11, 2018 Nguy n ng ng rated it it was amazing review of another edition Review 1 ui zas ch vi t theo l i SONG THO I c c hay lu nggggth ng i p ko m i nha, ko m i nha, n i v nh ng th self help n i y lu n HO N C NH, BI N H , T DO L A CH Nnh ng c ch i tho i l i ra t n c ng c a LOGIC th c c lu n nh c ph.Review 2.n u c ko v cu n 7 th i quen c a Stephen R.Covey, h y chuy n qua c cu n n y i tho i y logic t i t n c ng Review 3 m i, ng m ngh l i, cu n s ch n y hay nh t l ch , t c gi gi i th ch c T DO, T TI, T T N, T TIN, H Review 1 ui zas ch vi t theo l i SONG THO I c c hay lu nggggth ng i p ko m i nha, ko m i nha, n i v nh ng th self help n i y lu n HO N C NH, BI N H , T DO L A CH Nnh ng c ch i tho i l i ra t n c ng c a LOGIC th c c lu n nh c ph.Review 2.n u c ko v cu n 7 th i quen c a Stephen R.Covey, h y chuy n qua c cu n n y i tho i y logic t i t n c ng Review 3 m i, ng m ngh l i, cu n s ch n y hay nh t l ch , t c gi gi i th ch c T DO, T TI, T T N, T TIN, H NH PH C, NGH A Ich tr n 1 ti n duy nh t Ch t a v o 1 i m duy nh t l gi i M I PHI N MU N U B T U T QUAN H GI A NG I V I NG I Nh ng c i kh c t c gi ra u t m 10 keywords p v o ti n.1 ti n 10 keywords m i di n gi iNh ng v d g n g i l p lu n.L i vi t song tho i c s c l m n n cu n s ch to t v i n y flag 19 likesLike see review Feb 25, 2018 Thao Nguyen rated it it was amazing review of another edition M nh mua cu n s ch n y trong th i i m cu i n m, b n th n v a m i nh n ra m t v i m i quan h kh ng c t t p nh m nh ngh , ng i kh c gh t m nh, thi u nh h ng v t ng lai v c m th y m i th th t v v ng v v ngh a.M nh s x p cu n s ch n y v o nh ng cu n s ch ph i c l i t nh t 2 l n n m c ng v i cu n 6 t ng n h nh ph c N gi p m nh r t nhi u trong vi c c n b ng m i th , v khi c xong, b n s c m th y r ng ng th t, cu c i th t n gi n.S ng h t m nh v i ng i kh c M nh mua cu n s ch n y trong th i i m cu i n m, b n th n v a m i nh n ra m t v i m i quan h kh ng c t t p nh m nh ngh , ng i kh c gh t m nh, thi u nh h ng v t ng lai v c m th y m i th th t v v ng v v ngh a.M nh s x p cu n s ch n y v o nh ng cu n s ch ph i c l i t nh t 2 l n n m c ng v i cu n 6 t ng n h nh ph c N gi p m nh r t nhi u trong vi c c n b ng m i th , v khi c xong, b n s c m th y r ng ng th t, cu c i th t n gi n.S ng h t m nh v i ng i kh c l nhi m v c a m nh, gh t m nh l nhi m v c a h M nh ch c n l m t t nhi m v c a m nh m th i, kh ng c n ph i bu n r u v nhi m v c a ng i kh c V i u t m c nh t trong cu n s ch n y ch nh l s ng c ng hi n cho ng i kh c M nh c ng nh bao b n tr kh c, t ng r i v o t nh hu ng hoang mang, kh ng c m c ti u c a cu c i, kh ng bi t m nh mu n g V cu n s ch n y cho t i c m t c u tr l i khi n t i th a m n C u ang hoang mang tr c cu c i m nh T i sao c u l i hoang mang l v c u ang mu n ch n t do ngh a l ch n con ng kh ng s b ng i kh c gh t, kh ng ph i s ng cu c i c a ng i kh c Cho d c u tr i qua nh ng kho nh kh c nh th n o, cho d c ng i gh t c u, ch c n c u kh ng nh m t ng i sao d n ng l c ng hi n cho ng i kh c , th c u s kh ng l c l i v l m g c ng c flag 18 likesLike see review View all 3 comments Nov 12, 2018 J J rated it liked it review of another edition I didn t like the play format of this book For me, it would have been much effective in a traditional non fiction style flag 18 likesLike see review May 28, 2018 Emma Sea rated it it was amazing review of another edition TLDR bought a dead tree copy for my daughter If I leave her with any useful legacy I d like it to be introducing her to this book So, it s not that I m not a fan of the Socratic Method, it s just that the particular format of this book is tiresome It s written as a dialogue over 5 sessions between The Philosopher and The Youth, and 90% of my irritation is because of the Youth is written as both extremely abrasive in manner, and dense as a plank.However the contents of the book are excellen TLDR bought a dead tree copy for my daughter If I leave her with any useful legacy I d like it to be introducing her to this book So, it s not that I m not a fan of the Socratic Method, it s just that the particular format of this book is tiresome It s written as a dialogue over 5 sessions between The Philosopher and The Youth, and 90% of my irritation is because of the Youth is written as both extremely abrasive in manner, and dense as a plank.However the contents of the book are excellent, and covers a lot of things I ve been thinking for a while Like, the way we frame education is completely screwed up As kids, at least 75% of the time we carry out tasks because we want the praise of the teacher for a job well done, not because we are interested in the task or want to learn about a topic So it s great to have a framework to hang these thoughts on, and I m grateful to authors for introducing me to Adlerian psychology.The section on labour and community makes this an exceedingly useful accompaniment to any book deconstructing classical capitalism and especially Bullshit Jobs A Theory Despite the style of writing I do rec this book flag 20 likesLike see review View 1 comment Jul 12, 2018 Bridget rated it did not like it review of another edition Shelves big book of suck, 1 tbr july18 Victim blaming Trauma does not exist People CHOOSE to be unhappy This is the worst book I have ever read So glad it was a give away I ll be regifting it to file 13 flag 15 likesLike see review Aug 12, 2018 nananatte rated it it was amazing review of another edition Shelves 2018 favorites Thought Provoking Thought Provoking 3 1 2 3 2 555 flag 14 likesLike see review View 2 comments May 21, 2018 Alessandra Nigro rated it it was amazing review of another edition Shelves from library, non fiction, ebook I rarely leave reviews here on , but this book has the potential to change lives.It introduces the reader to so many new concepts, yet in such an approachable way, that every chapter ends with an aha moment.Read this book if you re into personal development, if you want to completely change your opinion about happiness Read it if you are struggling with your introvert personality, if you have trauma to overcome and relationships to heal especially with your parents flag 14 likesLike see review May 05, 2018 Anh D ng rated it it was amazing review of another edition Shelves owned, to re read, psy, wqg japan, favorites, self improve 2ndTime Inline Hospital OnBus FeelSoSoStrong Imagine all the people living for today The future not our to see Hai c u trong 2 b i h t y u th ch ,Nghe t a quy n s ch v y thui, ch th c ra ph i l d m h nh ph c , m ch c c i n h i chu i v y u u i n n ch c t c gi kh ng l y l m t a thui c quy n n y m nh r t ra m t i u ch c n can m x u thui, b n s l m cho t ng lai b n kh ng bi t u m l n, t i cho m nh c a ng y mai nh ng k n i, h m nay m nh s ng l c.T 2ndTime Inline Hospital OnBus FeelSoSoStrong Imagine all the people living for today The future not our to see Hai c u trong 2 b i h t y u th ch ,Nghe t a quy n s ch v y thui, ch th c ra ph i l d m h nh ph c , m ch c c i n h i chu i v y u u i n n ch c t c gi kh ng l y l m t a thui c quy n n y m nh r t ra m t i u ch c n can m x u thui, b n s l m cho t ng lai b n kh ng bi t u m l n, t i cho m nh c a ng y mai nh ng k n i, h m nay m nh s ng l c.Tri t l c a quy n s ch c x y d ng tr n n n t ng h c thuy t c a nh t m l h c Adler.Th nh t, Adler ph nh ho n to n l thuy t sang ch n t m l l thuy t t m l c a Sigmund Freud Quan i m c a Adler l th n y con ng i kh ng c t o ra b i tr i nghi m c a b n th n trong qu kh , m b i ngh a ch ng ta g n cho nh ng tr i nghi m Th y c ng kh ng, n i n y ch c ng ch m n Fan c a Freud nh ng k , c g ch c ng k _.Th hai theo Adler, m i phi n mu n u b t ngu n t quan h gi a ng i v i ng i, t c c chu n m c v k v ng c a x h i p t l n b n th n b n, ho c do b n th n b n ngh v y Nh m m t l i, t ng t ng m i th ch l ph du t m h n m nh s nh nh ng kh n t M t khi c m nh n c m i chu n m c x h i u l th g h v , con ng i s i di n v i b n th n m nh m t c ch ch n th c v tr n v n.Th ba, sau khi ng ra c m t s i u tr n, t c gi l i quay v v i kh i ni m c m th c c ng ng , t c l c c ng hi n v c m th y b n th n m nh c gi tr v thu c v m t n i n o , m t th g , ch c c c b n c ng t ng nghe kh i ni m belong to khi c s ch n i v h nh ph c B n c ng hi n v b n c m th y c m nh c gi tr l i d ng hay l m d ng g c ng c _ , t t khi n c ng ch ng m ng n s c ng nh n c a ng i kh c, m nh th ch th m nh c l m i khi s t n t i c a b n c ng mang l i m t gi tr r i.V cu i c ng, Adler cho r ng cu c i u c ngh a g u Ri ng m y c i tr n th ngu ng ch c i n y m nh bi t r i n Ngh a l khi n o b n r nh r nh hay b n b n c ng c, c m b t vi t cho n v i c i ngh a r i b t tay v o l m, sai th l m l i, ch ng lo t m ki m l m g , ph l m _.P s Quy n s ch n y c kh l nhi u s ki n th v v i m nh, v i c l n n y c n th ch h n l n tr c m y l n lu n, ng nh kh ng mua u m c s c kh hi h u g y nhi u c ch sau 3 th ng n n t t n hai quy n, thank chi Chi Nguyen n n e m i c quy n n y y 1stTimeCu c i t n ch ng c ngh a g r o, h y d ng t do c a b n th n m nh t vi t n n cho n m t ngh a L n u m i c bi t n quan ni m c a Adler Qu kh ch ng th nh h ng n ai c n u m nh kh ng n ng v o m nh Nghe c v v l nh ng n c l l m n u b n c bi t n kh i ni m thi n c a socrate v can m c a Adler T c gi truy n t n i dung h m ch a nh ng ngh a s u s c b ng c ch vi t n gi n d ti p thu v a n u ra c l thuy t, nh h ng cho n c ph ng ph p h nh ng Ch c ai c ng c th t m c b n th n m nh n i ch nh ng i thanh ni n khi anh ta i tho i v i nh tri t h c.P s Recommend 2 quy n b n v t do, t i l ai v n u v y th bao nhi u flag 13 likesLike see review View all 5 comments Dec 30, 2018 Nishant Nikhil rated it really liked it review of another edition The content of this book is amazing.I remember me discussing with Himanshu, Abhishek and Ankit, a lot of things which are related to the book This book gave words to those musings and structured a lot of mental models for me It made me wonder about a lot of experiences I had and am having One advice start acting the way this book suggests at least for the time span of the read.Few lessons Your past doesn t determine you, it is how you make of it Don t rush for answers, arrive at them The content of this book is amazing.I remember me discussing with Himanshu, Abhishek and Ankit, a lot of things which are related to the book This book gave words to those musings and structured a lot of mental models for me It made me wonder about a lot of experiences I had and am having One advice start acting the way this book suggests at least for the time span of the read.Few lessons Your past doesn t determine you, it is how you make of it Don t rush for answers, arrive at them Everyone desires for the pursuit of superiority , shouldn t be against others but your own self Do the separation of tasks Don t strive for recognition from others Make horizontal relationships, there s no such thing as a junior or a senior in friendship Self acceptance confidence in others contribution to othersExcerpts PHILOSOPHER Yes I have a young friend who dreams of becoming a novelist, but he never seems to be able to complete his work According to him, his job keeps him too busy, and he can never find enough time to write novels, and that s why he can t complete work and enter it for writing awards But is that the real reason No It s actually that he wants to leave the possibility of I can do it if I try open, by not committing to anything He doesn t want to expose his work to criticism, and he certainly doesn t want to face the reality that he might produce an inferior piece of writing and face rejection He wants to live inside that realm of possibilities, where he can say that he could do it if he only had the time, or that he could write if he just had the proper environment, and that he really does have the talent for it In another five or ten years, he will probably start using other excuses like I m not young any or I ve got a family to think about now PHILOSOPHER There is nothing particularly wrong with the feeling of inferiority itself You understand this point now, right As Adler says, the feeling of inferiority can be a trigger for striving and growth For instance, if one had a feeling of inferiority with regard to one s education, and resolved to oneself, I m not well educated, so I ll just have to try harder than anyone else, that would be a desirable direction The inferiority complex, on the other hand, refers to a condition of having begun to use one s feeling of inferiority as a kind of excuse So one thinks to oneself, I m not well educated, so I can t succeed, or I m not good looking, so I can t get married PHILOSOPHER Yes Even if you are avoiding your life tasks and clinging to your life lies, it isn t because you are steeped in evil It is not an issue to be condemned from a moralistic standpoint It is only an issue of courage One has to get recognition, or one will suffer If one doesn t get recognition from others and from one s parents, one won t have confidence Can such a life be healthy So one could think, God is watching, so accumulate good deeds But that and the nihilist view that there is no God, so all evil deeds are permitted are two sides of the same coin Even supposing that God did not exist, and that we could not gain recognition from God, we would still have to live this life Indeed, it is in order to overcome the nihilism of a godless world that it is necessary to deny recognition from other people You are worried about other people looking at you You are worried about being judged by other people That is why you are constantly craving recognition from others Now, why are you worried about other people looking at you, anyway Adlerian psychology has an easy answer You haven t done the separation of tasks yet You assume that even things that should be other people s tasks are your own Remember the words of the grandmother You re the only one who s worried how you look Her remark drives right to the heart of the separation of tasks What other people think when they see your face that is the task of other people and is not something you have any control over YOUTH What s unpleasant is the feeling that from the words Good job one is being talked down toILOSOPHER Exactly In the act of praise, there is the aspect of it being the passing of judgment by a person of ability on a person of no ability A mother praises her child who has helped her prepare dinner, saying, You re such a good helper But when her husband does the same things, you can be sure she won t be telling him, You re such a good helper YOUTH Ha ha, you are right about thatILOSOPHER In other words, the mother who praises the child by saying things like You re such a good helper or Good job or Well, aren t you something is unconsciously creating a hierarchical relationship and seeing the child as beneath her PHILOSOPHER And there are also times when someone deceives you, and you get used that way But look at it from the standpoint of someone who has been taken advantage of There are people who will continue to believe in you unconditionally even if you are the one who has taken advantage of them People who will have confidence in you no matter how they are treated Would you be able to betray such a person again and again In such a situation, normally one would think, Why won t they give me a hand or Why do I have to do all the work Even if I do not hear the words thank you from my family while I am cleaning up, I want them to think that I am of use to the family Instead of thinking about what others can do for me, I want to think about, and put into practice, what I can do for other people Just by having that feeling of contribution, the reality right in front of me will take on a completely different hue In fact, if I am grumbling to myself as I wash the dishes, I am probably not much fun to be around, so everyone just wants to keep their distance On the other hand, if I m humming away to myself and washing the dishes in good spirits, the children might come and give me a hand At the very least, I d be creating an atmosphere in which it is easier for them to offer their help PHILOSOPHER What kind of goal is the act of going on a journey Suppose you are going on a journey to Egypt Would you try to arrive at the Great Pyramid of Giza as efficiently and quickly as possible, and then head straight back home by the shortest route One would not call that a journey You should be on a journey the moment you step outside your home, and all the moments on the way to your destination should be a journey Of course, there might be circumstances that prevent you from making it to the pyramid, but that does not mean you didn t go on a journey This is energeial life flag 12 likesLike see review Aug 05, 2016 Ongorn rated it it was amazing review of another edition 4 5 take away flag 10 likesLike see review Feb 28, 2018 To n Phan rated it really liked it review of another edition HAY C nhi u c ch ngh l , c th p d ng ngay v l u d i.Tr 1 sao v d n trang t n gi y nha flag 10 likesLike see review Mar 03, 2018 Ray Li rated it it was amazing review of another edition A very gentle introduction to Adlerian psychology and the setting for this is amazing Truly a great read and definitely makes you think about the world around you and how your perspectives can really be changed if you just allow yourself to flag 9 likesLike see review Aug 11, 2018 Sarah rated it it was amazing review of another edition Shelves non fiction Despite the cringeworthy title, this ended up being a brilliant book I think I ll go back to it often flag 9 likesLike see review View 2 comments Aug 02, 2018 Sandhya Chandramohan rated it it was amazing review of another edition Alfred Adler is the relatively unknown 3rd giant of psychology after the likes of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung but with arguably the most ground breaking work of any Adlerian psychology feels counter intuitive at first glance in many ways, but one powerful idea after another it makes it s case, creating one of the strongest, most foolproof frameworks ever for thinking I don t think I will ever go back to being the same person again, now that I have read this book.Adlerian psychology is opposed Alfred Adler is the relatively unknown 3rd giant of psychology after the likes of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung but with arguably the most ground breaking work of any Adlerian psychology feels counter intuitive at first glance in many ways, but one powerful idea after another it makes it s case, creating one of the strongest, most foolproof frameworks ever for thinking I don t think I will ever go back to being the same person again, now that I have read this book.Adlerian psychology is opposed to Freudian psychology in the sense that it is non deterministic and asserts that, people act to achieve certain goals instead of being creatures who are driven by causes in their past No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live life from now on Your past does not determine your future, what you do right now in this instant, is what matters One of the core ideas that it lays forward is the fact that, all problems are interpersonal relationship problems People, either consciously or sub consciously resort to crutches such as anxiety, self deprecation, people pleasing behaviour as an insurance against fear of rejection, fear of being disliked He also asserts that, if there is competition at the core of a person s interpersonal relationships, he will not be able to escape interpersonal relationship problems Because at the end of a competition, there are always winners and losers Adler sets forth a thought framework called Separation of tasks to set you on the path to mastering your interpersonal relationships and finding the courage to be disliked and consequently be free and happy Written in the form of a dialogue between a philosopher and his disciple in the Socratic tradition of discourse, it s a very compelling read, that I simply could not put down Adlerian psychology also known as Individual psychology is a very empowering scheme of thought at the very least I can not recommend this book enough flag 8 likesLike see review Li n V Freud s first name isnt William though Jan 01, 2019 12 54AM Sandhya Chandramohan oh my god, yes Don t know how I got that wrong Thanks for pointing out, edited it Jan 01, 2019 08 51AM Chris Cavalieri Fabulous review Jan 27, 2019 07 19PM Dec 21, 2017 Reba rated it did not like it review of another edition Shelves did nt finish I found the tone of this book contrived and condescending, with poorly written dialogue although hard to know how much of that is due to the translation The worst faults for me, however, were the offensive, compassionaless, victim blaming ideas such as trauma does not exist a heading of a sub chapter , expanded on to state that a person suffering from agorophobia is choosing to do so to treated as special by their parents Second worst would be the poor logic used to prove these ideas flag 8 likesLike see review View all 3 comments Aug 14, 2018 Napon Theerapisute rated it it was ok review of another edition Mindset The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck Mindset The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck Trauma doesn t exist , 2 Minority flag 7 likesLike see review Jul 31, 2017 Jo Ann Duff Duffy The Writer rated it really liked it review of another edition Recently I ve been drawn to books which encourage me to look at myself, and hopefully make me a better me The Courage To Be Disliked had a title I just couldn t go past, and when I read that over 3million copies had been sold, I couldn t pass it up.The Courage To Be Disliked is a unique book It has taken Japan by storm, using the theories of renowned 19th century philosopher and psychiatrist Alfred Adler to create a string of conversations between a fictional philosopher and a young man T Recently I ve been drawn to books which encourage me to look at myself, and hopefully make me a better me The Courage To Be Disliked had a title I just couldn t go past, and when I read that over 3million copies had been sold, I couldn t pass it up.The Courage To Be Disliked is a unique book It has taken Japan by storm, using the theories of renowned 19th century philosopher and psychiatrist Alfred Adler to create a string of conversations between a fictional philosopher and a young man The conversations cover many broad, interesting and touchy topics, such as Admitting Fault Is Not DefeatAn Inferiority Complex Is Not An ExcuseDiscard Other Peoples TasksAll Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship ProblemsThe Difference Between Trust And ConfidenceThese often complex topics and discussions are played out in a conversational style between the two men, which works because it brings two balanced sides to the arguments and discussions The Courage To Be Disliked is translated from Japanese and has kept the cultural and conversational language style which does take a while to settle into it certainly isn t a casual or relaxed discussion , but it works perfectly Be warned, this is not a book to read when you aren t fully focussed Whilst it s easy to follow the conversations, the topics will knock around in your own head as you work out whether you sit on the side of the philosopher, the young man, or somewhere in between.The philosopher character certainly sticks by his life s work and the theories of Adler, but The Courage To Be Disliked is a book which aims to leave you sitting with yourself in between chapters You ll find yourself doing household chores, or at your keyboard, unpacking all the information in your mind and coming to your own conclusions.You will wholeheartedly agree on some points and want to throw the book at the wall at others It s content is polarising and I certainly don t agree with everything the philosopher says, or the young man, but I think that s the point The Courage To Be Disliked is there to spark a conversation with yourself and do some slightly uncomfortable soul searching.I enjoyed the fresh perspective, the conversations it sparked, and the questions I asked myself after reading One of the most unique books I ve read in a long time.If you are in the market for a bit of self reflection without the kid gloves, buy The Courage To Be Disliked.4 5 A book that has you thinking flag 6 likesLike see review Sep 16, 2018 Vivek Aithal rated it really liked it review of another edition As you all must be aware, everybody loves me Especially people who do not know me So, what is this book even, you ask Courage to be disliked was an inward journey in identifying life lies as Adler calls them, and the power they hold in the stories I create for myself as an excuse to not act It was quite difficult to accept certain claims of Adler s given my current state of intuitions, cemented by aetiological Freudian philosophy of causes and effects While there are remarkably insightful As you all must be aware, everybody loves me Especially people who do not know me So, what is this book even, you ask Courage to be disliked was an inward journey in identifying life lies as Adler calls them, and the power they hold in the stories I create for myself as an excuse to not act It was quite difficult to accept certain claims of Adler s given my current state of intuitions, cemented by aetiological Freudian philosophy of causes and effects While there are remarkably insightful concepts such as superiority through inferiority, separation of tasks and harmony of life, my biggest takeaway from the book was in identifying life lies and having the courage to stop weaving a story around my life that just fit Adlerian philosophy locks horns with most things espoused by modern day rockstar speakers such as Jordan B Peterson in that it is an inward journey to find the meaning of happiness, together with fellow comrades It rejects the necessity for vertical hierarchical structures and the need to be mean to people, in favour of horizontal ones.The book is in the form of a conversation between a philosopher and a young man who is seeking answers While it may seem alien at the beginning, the style allows the authors to ask and answer questions that arise in the minds of readers as they progress through Adler s theories, and dive into themselves Shoutout to Vikrant for this flag 6 likesLike see review Feb 08, 2017 Proud Anangosolporn rated it it was amazing review of another edition flag 5 likesLike see review Dec 13, 2017 Alfie Yee rated it liked it review of another edition Alfred Adler Was my first thoughts when I picked up this book It was explained that the he was among the 3 titans of modern psychology and proponent of Teleology that contrasted with the aetiology principles of Jung and Freud Like Aristotle and Kant before him, Adler believed that the individual should find meaning in life through the reference of one s purpose and contribution to community rather than reference the causes and effects of one s background or history to explore his future i.e Alfred Adler Was my first thoughts when I picked up this book It was explained that the he was among the 3 titans of modern psychology and proponent of Teleology that contrasted with the aetiology principles of Jung and Freud Like Aristotle and Kant before him, Adler believed that the individual should find meaning in life through the reference of one s purpose and contribution to community rather than reference the causes and effects of one s background or history to explore his future i.e I am shy because I was sheltered as a kid This concepts mirrors modern determinismWhilst I have always agreed with this guiding principle rather this book was rather tough as it times had somewhat of a culty feeling I felt myself struggling to believe that one willingly uses his past as a justification not to move forward into the future or not doing something or that one should separate tasks to ensure that he does not interfere into the life of another Another principle that did not sit well for me was the focus on horizontal relationships The idea that all problems resulted from vertical relationships of power and control and that one should look at balance and even relationship of equal A pipe dream perhaps However on overall, I came to agree largely with the major tenets of the book The focus on here and now, moving forward and that life is never a straight line but rather a series of dot moving slowly in a direction.Not a major fan of the writing style of question and answer among s master and student Perhaps this is how Plato and Socrates debated but it does not make for interesting ready.Overall a entertaining and thought provoking read flag 4 likesLike see review View 1 comment Jun 08, 2018 Ian Stewart rated it really liked it review of another edition Something like an introduction to psychologist Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Freud and Jung who I, and apparently many other people, had previously known little about If you ve read any Dale Carnegie or Stephen Covey you ve already had your own little introduction It seems Adler was an influence on them.With my own background reading I was reminded of Stoicism s rejection of things you can t change in understanding the world and Adlerian Psychology often felt to my mind like a systema Something like an introduction to psychologist Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Freud and Jung who I, and apparently many other people, had previously known little about If you ve read any Dale Carnegie or Stephen Covey you ve already had your own little introduction It seems Adler was an influence on them.With my own background reading I was reminded of Stoicism s rejection of things you can t change in understanding the world and Adlerian Psychology often felt to my mind like a systematic and expansive restating of that idea It often sounded pretty radical Which is why the format of the book is so great Presented as a dialogue between a philosopher steeped in Adler and a youth who thinks Adler sounds nuts you can come alongside the youth.Recommended if you re interested in practical life philosophies or how one might live better type stuff flag 4 likesLike see review Aug 01, 2018 Sean Goh rated it it was amazing review of another edition Shelves philosophy, pers dev, psych Thought provoking, like a dash of cold water to the face Worth re reading slowly to let the philosophical points percolate through the self acceptance confidence in others contribution to others meaning and self acceptance framework set out in the last chapter ___The argument concerning traumas, that because something happened to you in the past the way you are is not your fault, is typical of aetiology study of causation However, to Adler, we are not determined by our ex Thought provoking, like a dash of cold water to the face Worth re reading slowly to let the philosophical points percolate through the self acceptance confidence in others contribution to others meaning and self acceptance framework set out in the last chapter ___The argument concerning traumas, that because something happened to you in the past the way you are is not your fault, is typical of aetiology study of causation However, to Adler, we are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self determining We make of them whatever suits our purposes.Your life is something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.The question isn t what happened but how was it resolved c.f fuck your traumaIt is okay for you to be you I am not saying it s fine to be just as you are If you are unable to feel really happy, then it s clear that things aren t right just as they are You ve got to put one foot in front of the other, and not stop The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment The Greek word for good agathon does not have a moral meaning It just means beneficial Conversely, the word for evil kakon means not beneficial No one desires evil something not beneficial Being the way I am , with all these shortcomings is, for you, a precious virtue, something that s to your benefit It helps you realise your goal of not being hurt in your relationships with other people All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.To get rid of your problems, all you can do is live in the universe all alone But you can t do that.Loneliness is having other people around you, and having a deep sense of being excluded from them To feel lonely, we need other people.Internal worry does not exist Whatever the worry that may arise, the shadows of other people are always present.Without people to compare yourself with, inferiority would not exist But feelings of inferiority are always subjective interpretations.The good thing about subjectivity is that it allows you to make your own choice.The pursuit of superiority and the feeling of inferiority are stimulants to normal, healthy striving and growth It is when they cease to stimulate action that they become complexes One boasts because of a feeling of inferiority, a fear that without the boasting others would not accept one as they are Superiority and inferiority complexes border each other.The baby is the strongest person in our culture, the baby rules and cannot be dominated The baby rules over adults with his weakness When one is trying to be oneself, competition will inevitably get in the way.The terrifying thing about competition is that even if you re not a loser but a consistent winner, if you have placed yourself in competition you will never have a moment s peace You don t want to be a loser And you always have to keep on winning, you can t trust other people The world becomes a perilous place overflowing with enemies.The moment you are convinced I am right in an interpersonal relationship, you have already stepped into a power struggle.If you think you are right, regardless of what other people s opinions might be, the matter should be closed then and there.However, many people try to make others submit to them.Once one is released from the schema of competition, the need to triumph over someone disappears One is also released from the fear that says, Maybe I will lose One becomes able to celebrate other people s happiness with all one s heart One may become able to contribute actively to other people s happiness The person who always has the will to help another in times of need that is someone who may properly be called your comrade.Admitting mistakes, conveying words of apology, and stepping down from power struggles none of these things is defeat The pursuit of superiority is not something that is carried out through competition with other people.When you re hung up on winning and losing you lose the ability to make the right choices.Adler does not accept restricting one s partner Relationships in which people restrict each other eventually fall apart.When one can think, Whenever I am with this person, I can behave very freely , one can really feel love.You must not run away No matter how distressful the relationship, you must not avoid or put off dealing with it Even if in the end you re going to cut it with scissors, first you have to face it The worst thing you can do is to just stand still with the situation as it is The simplest way to tell whose task it is who ultimately is going to receive the end result brought about by the choice that is made Whenever a parent tells a child they must study for their own good , they are clearly doing so in order to fulfill their own goals desire for control, to appear good in society, etc In other words, for the parents good, not the child s And it is because the child senses this deception that they rebel.You believe in your partner, that is your task But how that person acts with regard to your expectations and trust is other peoples tasks Intervening in other s tasks and taking on their tasks turns one s life into something heavy and full of hardship.All interpersonal relationship troubles are caused by intruding on other people s tasks, or having your own tasks intruded upon Intervening in other people s tasks is essentially egocentric.How other people see you is their task Because you have not performed the separation of tasks, you are worried about being judged by other people.A way of living in which one is constantly troubled by how one is seen by others is a self centred lifestyle in which one s sole concern is with the I.Forming good interpersonal relationships requires a certain degree of distance.Like you can t read a book if you push it up against your face, nor hold it too far away.There is no reason of any sort that you should not live your life as you please.To understand the community feeling that Adler speaks of, use you and I as the starting point Make the switch from attachment to self self interest to concern for others social interest.In the act of praise, there is an aspect of it being the passing of judgment by a person of ability on a person of no ability This unconsciously creates a hierarchical relationship, putting the praiser beneath the praisee One praises to manipulate The feeling of inferiority arises within vertical relationships.If you can build horizontal relationships that are equal but not the same for all people, there will no longer be any room for inferiority complexes to emerge.A sense of belonging is something that one can attain only by making an active commitment to the community of one s accord, and not simply by being here.And it is when one is able to feel I am beneficial to the community that one can have a true sense of one s worth The subjective feeling of contribution forms the basis of one feeling that they are of worth Look at people on the level of being, not acts.Someone has to start Other people might not be cooperative, but that is not connected to you My advice is this you should start With no regard to whether others are cooperative or not.The basis of interpersonal relations is founded not on trust but on confidence.Confidence is doing without any set conditions whatsoever when believing in others without concerning oneself with such things as security.There are people who will continue to have confidence in you no matter how they are treated.It is precisely because we lay a foundation of unconditional confidence that it is possible for us to build a deep relationship.Right now you are thinking if I were to have confidence in someone unconditionally, I would just get taken advantage of However you are not the one who decides whether or not to take advantage That is the other person s task All you need to do is think What should I do If you are telling yourself, I ll give it to him if he isn t going to take advantage of me, it is just a relationship of trust that is based on security or conditions.If you are only concerned about the times you were taken advantage of, if you are afraid to have confidence in others, in the long run, you will not be able to build deep relationships with anyone.It is because one self accepts that one can have confidence in others without the fear of being taken advantage of And it is because one can place unconditional confidence in others, and feel that people are one s comrades, that one can engage in contribution to others Further it is because one contributes to others that one can have the deep awareness that I am of use to someone , and accept oneself just as one is A Jewish anecdote If there are ten people, one will be someone who criticises you no matter what you do This person will come to dislike you, and you will not learn to like him either Then, there will be two others who accept everything about you and whom you accept too, and you will become close friends with them The remaining seven people will be neither of these types Now who do you focus on A person who is lacking in harmony of life will see only the one person he dislikes, and will make a judgement of the world from that.Happiness is the feeling of contribution.Contribution that is carried out who one is seeing other people as enemies may indeed lead to hypocrisy But if other people are one s comrades that should never happen, regardless of the contributions one makes If one really has a feeling of contribution, one will no longer have any need for recognition from others Because one will already have the real awareness that I am of use to someone without needing to go out of one s way to be acknowledged by others In other words, a person obsessed with the desire for recognition does not have any community feeling yet The fact that you think you can see the past, or predict the future, is proof that rather than living earnestly in the here and now, you are living in a dim twilight You are trying to give yourself a way out by focusing on the past and the future What happened in the past has nothing whatsoever to do with your here and now, and what the future may hold is not a matter to think about here and now To shine a spotlight on here and now is to go about doing what one can do now, earnestly and conscientiously.Why is it necessary to be special Be normal.You do not need to flaunt your superiority flag 3 likesLike see review Apr 30, 2018 Trung Thieu rated it it was amazing review of another edition M t cu n s ch hay m ch c ch n t i s ph i xem i xem l i nhi u l n.Ng n g n v cu n s ch th t c gi ang di n gi i th gi i quan, l i s ng theo quan i m tri t h c c a ng Alfred Adler Individual Psychology, ng c i t n n nh l a.Mu n n i d i d ng h n th c ng kh , v ch n gi n tr ch d n ra c c kh i ni m th s kh c th hi u c gi i th ch ng sau C n n u l y c c k t lu n ra th c ng s kh hi u c v n th ng tr i ng c v i th gi i quan theo tr ng ph i tri t h c c a Si M t cu n s ch hay m ch c ch n t i s ph i xem i xem l i nhi u l n.Ng n g n v cu n s ch th t c gi ang di n gi i th gi i quan, l i s ng theo quan i m tri t h c c a ng Alfred Adler Individual Psychology, ng c i t n n nh l a.Mu n n i d i d ng h n th c ng kh , v ch n gi n tr ch d n ra c c kh i ni m th s kh c th hi u c gi i th ch ng sau C n n u l y c c k t lu n ra th c ng s kh hi u c v n th ng tr i ng c v i th gi i quan theo tr ng ph i tri t h c c a Sigmund Freud theo thuy t nguy n nh n.T i ch tin l ai c cu n n y k v nghi n ng m th s th y n b sung v gi p b n th n ng i thay i, theo h ng t t h n c ch cho b n th n, c ng ng, x h i.N n c c th hi u h t c nh m t c gi truy n t i c m highlight mu n n t cu n s ch lu n D flag 3 likesLike see review Aug 17, 2018 Ampassacha Rakkhumkaeo rated it it was amazing review of another edition flag 3 likesLike see review Oct 09, 2018 Carrie Poppy rated it liked it review of another edition Good flag 3 likesLike see review Sep 28, 2018 Azeera rated it really liked it review of another edition I am a fan of serendipity In love and in life I have always believed books find you often than you finding them I stumbled this on a list of top ten reads of a venture capitalist, on a particular day wherein I felt I was being too much of a pushover in life I picked it up with the skepticism I reserve for a self help book Who names a book courage to be disliked anyway.The book instead of acting as the usual comfort couch, shakes you out of it It tells you point blank why you have b I am a fan of serendipity In love and in life I have always believed books find you often than you finding them I stumbled this on a list of top ten reads of a venture capitalist, on a particular day wherein I felt I was being too much of a pushover in life I picked it up with the skepticism I reserve for a self help book Who names a book courage to be disliked anyway.The book instead of acting as the usual comfort couch, shakes you out of it It tells you point blank why you have been scre ing it up and why you need to be getting out of the odd words of consolation you offer yourself on bad day But what makes the book stand out isn t the Gyan it offers or the supposed insight into the alderian school of psychology The book s strength lies in being structured as a Socratic dialogue between a young man and a philosopher And both logically break down each other s arguments Making you pause to answer questions from your life, and question the intentions behind your actions flag 3 likesLike see review Jan 10, 2019 Dorian rated it it was amazing review of another edition The most important book I have read in my life It spoke to me on a deeper level and I will try to live my life from this day onwards using pieces of advice from adlerian psychology To Kishimi and Koga I will say, from the bottom of my heart, thanks flag 3 likesLike see review Aug 20, 2018 Billie Pritchett rated it liked it review of another edition I heard about this book, The Courage to Be Disliked, on a podcast and then was surprised to see how popular the book is or is becoming, especially given that it s a book that promotes the teachings of psychologist Alfred Adler in the stylings of one of Plato s dialogues The basic message of the book is The world is simple, and life is simple, too Using Adler s psychological theories, the older philosopher character in the book guides the young person toward an understanding of life s purpose I heard about this book, The Courage to Be Disliked, on a podcast and then was surprised to see how popular the book is or is becoming, especially given that it s a book that promotes the teachings of psychologist Alfred Adler in the stylings of one of Plato s dialogues The basic message of the book is The world is simple, and life is simple, too Using Adler s psychological theories, the older philosopher character in the book guides the young person toward an understanding of life s purpose, which, he says, is reaching the point where you can feel like you re making a contribution to the world To do that, you have to be free to find your own way, moment to moment, putting aside the past and not getting caught up in planning for the future, and along the way you have to gain the courage to be disliked The courage to be disliked, according to the book, is being willing to live the life you want to the extent you can apart from other people s expectations Because you ll be exercising your freedom when doing so, people won t like it, the book says But there is a balance It s not living for yourself that is what matters, but contributing to the whole, with a sense that all of our relationships are not about power dynamics but where we relate to one another as equal human beings.The authors Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi have attempted to synthesize the bulk of Alfred Adler s psychological theories, formed over a lifetime, in order to create one whole framework or worldview Sometimes it s tough to see how the parts fit together and the arguments may not be convincing for readers That said, I am glad that I read the book and would be lying if I said it didn t surprise me, stump me, challenge me, or leave a lasting positive impression flag 3 likesLike see review Aug 09, 2018 Calvin rated it it was amazing review of another edition I m not sure I m a huge fan of the dialogue format, but I think everyone can gain something from reading this book.The people who are accusing it of victim blaming I feel are missing the point of the book, and I m honestly not 100% convinced that they read the whole thing and definitely didn t do so with an open mind flag 3 likesLike see review View 1 comment previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next new topicDiscuss This Book topics posts views last activity Radical ideas in this book 1 1 Jan 28, 2019 02 09PM More topics Share Recommend It Stats Recent Status Updates Readers Also Enjoyed He presently t Ichiro KISHIMI Philosopher, Adlerian psychologist and translator of English and German languages Born in 1956.M.A philosophy from Kyoto University Director of the Japanese Society of Adlerian psychology Former counselor at Maeda Clinic in Kyoto and has taught philosophy and ancient Greek at various institutions such as Kyoto University of Education and Nara Women s University He presently teaches educational psychology and clinical psychology at Meiji School of Oriental Medicine in Suita, Osaka Kishimi now has his own private counseling office in Kameoka, Kyoto, and devotes his time to giving lectures on Adlerian Psychology and child education Books by Ichiro Kishimi More Trivia About No trivia or quizzes yet Add some now Quotes from Do Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others 15 likes If one really has a feeling of contribution, one will no longer have any need for recognition from others Because one will already have the real awareness that I am of use to someone, without needing to go out of one s way to be acknowledged by others In other words, a person who is obsessed with the desire for recognition does not have any community feeling yet, and has not managed to engage in self acceptance, confidence in others, or contribution to others 10 likes More quotes renderRatingGraph 1709, 1138, 512, 146, 65 if rating_details rating_detailssert top rating_graph Company About us Careers Terms Privacy Help Work with us Authors Advertise Authors ads blog API Connect 2019 , Inc Mobile version

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    Ichiro Kishimi
    Ichiro KISHIMI Philosopher, Adlerian psychologist and translator of English and German languages Born in 1956.M.A philosophy from Kyoto University Director of the Japanese Society of Adlerian psychology Former counselor at Maeda Clinic in Kyoto and has taught philosophy and ancient Greek at various institutions such as Kyoto University of Education and Nara Women s University He presently t Ichiro KISHIMI Philosopher, Adlerian psychologist and translator of English and German languages Born in 1956.M.A philosophy from Kyoto University Director of the Japanese Society of Adlerian psychology Former counselor at Maeda Clinic in Kyoto and has taught philosophy and ancient Greek at various institutions such as Kyoto University of Education and Nara Women s University He presently teaches educational psychology and clinical psychology at Meiji School of Oriental Medicine in Suita, Osaka Kishimi now has his own private counseling office in Kameoka, Kyoto, and devotes his time to giving lectures on Adlerian Psychology and child education

    嫌われる勇気 By Ichiro Kishimi

    Commentaires:

    Lee
    This book was really famous in Japan, it became number one on the bestseller list in 2014 After then, it translated in Korean and it stayed on bestseller list for 33 weeks in Korea At first time I heard this news, I doubt about this book Because I had some biases about best sellers But my professor just recommended this book to me, and I read it And this book was totally different from other best sellers This book talks about Courage It says we need courage to be hated Because people This book w [...]

    Nguyên ngộ ngộ
    Review 1 ui zas ch vi t theo l i SONG THO I c c hay lu nggggth ng i p ko m i nha, ko m i nha, n i v nh ng th self help n i y lu n HO N C NH, BI N H , T DO L A CH Nnh ng c ch i tho i l i ra t n c ng c a LOGIC th c c lu n nh c ph.Review 2.n u c ko v cu n 7 th i quen c a Stephen R.Covey, h y chuy n qua c cu n n y i tho i y logic t i t n c ng Review 3 m i, ng m ngh l i, cu n s ch n y hay nh t l ch , t c gi gi i th ch c T DO, T TI, T T N, T TIN, H Review 1 ui zas ch vi t theo l i SONG THO I c c hay l [...]

    Thao Nguyen
    M nh mua cu n s ch n y trong th i i m cu i n m, b n th n v a m i nh n ra m t v i m i quan h kh ng c t t p nh m nh ngh , ng i kh c gh t m nh, thi u nh h ng v t ng lai v c m th y m i th th t v v ng v v ngh a.M nh s x p cu n s ch n y v o nh ng cu n s ch ph i c l i t nh t 2 l n n m c ng v i cu n 6 t ng n h nh ph c N gi p m nh r t nhi u trong vi c c n b ng m i th , v khi c xong, b n s c m th y r ng ng th t, cu c i th t n gi n.S ng h t m nh v i ng i kh c M nh mua cu n s ch n y trong th i i m cu i n m, [...]

    J & J
    I didn t like the play format of this book For me, it would have been much effective in a traditional non fiction style.

    Emma Sea
    TLDR bought a dead tree copy for my daughter If I leave her with any useful legacy I d like it to be introducing her to this book So, it s not that I m not a fan of the Socratic Method, it s just that the particular format of this book is tiresome It s written as a dialogue over 5 sessions between The Philosopher and The Youth, and 90% of my irritation is because of the Youth is written as both extremely abrasive in manner, and dense as a plank.However the contents of the book are excelle [...]

    Bridget
    Victim blaming Trauma does not exist People CHOOSE to be unhappy This is the worst book I have ever read So glad it was a give away I ll be regifting it to file 13.

    nananatte
    Thought Provoking Thought Provoking 3 1 2 3 2 555

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      Posted by:Ichiro Kishimi
      Published :2019-02-14T01:21:26+00:00